ONE NIGHT LAST WEEK
I suddenly wake up around 11:00 p.m. realizing I have not made it very far into the night and immediately notice my throat feels tighter. I think, oh crap...do I have Covid-19?? I kind of want to cough but if I “dry” cough then I must have it, so I resist the urge. I know I will be ok but logistics of family start running through my head as I consider that little thing in the way called the Atlantic Ocean. I make it back to sleep but darn it! 12:50 a.m. rolls around and the tight throat is still there and I think it has gotten worse! I fight for sleep again and make it to 3:00 a.m. Still there! SHIT! One last time I get back to sleep until a little after 5:00 a.m. and arise feeling great. And I think, WTF? Did I dream I had the virus or is it just normal in the middle of the night that the throat gets a little tight? Whatever – these are the times we live in now.
TODAY
At this moment I am feeling somewhat worthless. I don’t have immediate family to take care of nor clients and deals to nurture. I have friends here that I care about and so far everyone is doing well. I suppose I could try and help out my new community here in Munich in some sort of service but my language is not strong enough to be effective. That is kind of a lame excuse but if I am being honest with myself I have never been one to drop everything and rush down to the food kitchen when there is a national or local emergency. I have always thought of doing great service at times of need but it seems like I just make sure I am ok along with my immediate family and friends and have never willed myself to take action. Just a week ago I considered keeping this month’s newsletter super brief since I’m just hanging out in my apartment and not having any novel experiences. But then I thought, maybe my writing can be a way to provide some support and give a little to those I care about. I read somewhere that Shakespeare wrote King Lear and Macbeth under quarantine during a plague. Nothing Shakespearean here this month but I will continue to pour my heart out onto these pages and hopefully give you some sort of additional escape for 20 or 30 minutes.
ON A SUNNY SEPTEMBER 2020 DAY.....
I just took my seat in one of the dusty corners of a jam-packed Allen Fieldhouse to witness a moment of hope and joy. This was the best seat I could get because all of this has happened last minute. The travel
restrictions between the U.S. and Germany had just recently eased and social distancing requirements have been lifted. Covid-19 though is still raging through the developing countries and there is still a distant chance it could come back here in the West. The economy and social fabric of America is wrecked, and people are craving for something concrete and hopeful. Because I had a flight credit from a previously cancelled trip back in March, I decided to fly home for this unprecedented event.
The organizers for the newly established H.W. Bush – Carter Speakers Series (two under appreciated one-term Presidents) announced this event shortly after Jimmy Carter passed away in late May 2020. Their hope was to quickly bring the nation together in this chaotic time and arrange a major event that could put the country and world on a new path. They picked Lawrence, KS because of its unique progressiveness but also its centrality to a sea of red states. And Allen Fieldhouse because it could accommodate a crowd that they hoped would create the same atmosphere when the Jayhawks have a late game comeback win. Basically, pure unadulterated joy and euphoria.
As I walked the streets of Lawrence earlier today it seemed like the entire Midwest descended on this quiet little college town for a day long tailgate. Rumors are floating around that a million people showed up here. People have come to Lawrence to release their emotions, be surrounded by their fellow human beings and just party. Area Budweiser distributers began a week earlier stocking up Mass Street, the entire student ghetto and every bar from Louise’s West to Bull-Hawk-Wheel. Today all the streets were shut down within the city center and only trucks with ice were allowed through to keep the beer cold. Music pulsed throughout the neighborhoods and today will certainly go down in history as one of the greatest outdoor city parties ever.
But it is nighttime now and I made my way to Allen Fieldhouse. I was lucky enough to get a ticket and as the clock struck 8:00 all the lights are killed and the deepest base and loudest speakers start playing Phil Collins’ In The Air Tonight. The crowd at first is silenced but we start getting into the mood and singing along as strobes start pulsating throughout the arena and fog fills the air. And then it happens, the big drum solo blasts through the speakers and the crowd explodes and does not stop as Barack Obama walks through the tunnel.
Cool as ever, Obama strides through the should- to-shoulder crowd on the floor dressed in a sharp open collar white oxford shirt under a slim European fitted navy-blue suit with brown horse bit loafers and no socks. (His forays with Clooney on the banks of Lake Como have clearly influenced his sartorial selections.) And just behind him, as his side kick for the evening, is Matt Damon looking equally as dapper. Looking at them I am feeling a little underdressed for all I could cram into my carryon is a pair of jeans, my vintage American flag sweater and cowboy boots. The people around me is what I find most amazing. I am surrounded by all walks of life; rich, poor, black, white, brown, Asian and tons of MAGA hats. Everyone was encouraged to wear their favorite political buttons and t-shirts no matter the party or politician. The idea was to start filling in those trenches, freely express who we are without any shame, pressure or ridicule. We are all here ready for a fresh beginning as billions of people around the world watch us in this hallowed arena.
Considering who our speaker is tonight, I am still amazed how the organizers were able to bring so many people of different persuasions to Lawrence and fill half of the stands here with cheering and joyful conservatives. It wasn’t wizardry but just some good old fashion cross- the-aisle deal making. What got the job done was Nancy and Chuck pressed the Democratic Party to write into its bylaws no candidate or congressman may campaign for or support Medicare for All or free college tuition for five years if he or she seeks support from the party. At first I thought this was a little much just to hold a one day party and event in Lawrence, KS but the citizens were craving some sort of joyous event to bring the nation together and they needed a big signal from the politicians they were serious about mending the divide. So, with the deal done on the Dems side and the GOP bullhorn telling its followers to head to Lawrence, the stage was set.
As Obama and Damon take the stage in the middle of the court the music dies down and slowly “U- S-A!” starts being chanted to full volume and does not stop for five minutes until Obama finally quiets the crowd. I don’t need to rehash everything they said because we all witnessed it either in person or on TV. There was plenty of self-deprecating jokes between the two of them as expected but this was their resounding message: “We have to create a more resilient nation and world.” The face mask has become the symbol of the pandemic and how we address things moving forward. They said it makes sense to keep having 99% of the masks manufactured overseas but we have to create a structure to quickly supply and manufacture our own masks during a pandemic here in the U.S. Covid-19 totally blind-sided us and we are paying the price for this inadequate preparedness from decades of poor policies and decisions. Along with a redundant set of critical goods like masks, a testing system will need be established so the world never has to be shut down again. We can handle this once but what’s not to say in 5 years or maybe sooner a new virus spreads.
Covid-19 on a whole though was just a shot across the bow from Mother Nature showing what is coming from the environment. And that is why they spent the rest of the time talking about creating a more sustainable and resilient world. We shouldn’t expect a one-time environmental catastrophe (IF we take action today) that shuts the entire world down like Covid-19 but rather continuous disruptions in regions all across the globe due to floods, droughts, fires, hurricanes, violent storms and rising sea levels. The severity and frequency will not stop until we change. It was preached consumption must go down and since we all just experienced a period of our lives without shopping every day, we can now see it is possible to live without so much stuff. During our time of shelter-in-place we spent more time walking around outdoors, reading and playing games with our children.
On a whole Covid-19 reinforced the value of centralized workplaces because people recognized the healthy separation of work and home and also the necessity of coming together as a team every day. Office leasing has actually recovered very well in the past couple months but companies are needing to create more robust at-home infrastructure in times of need including allowances for people to fit out a proper home office. (I was actually quite impressed with Damon’s office leasing knowledge. He spoke of this being in our country’s wheelhouse and that office brokers don’t get enough credit for what they do for businesses and the economy.)
I will only highlight one more topic of theirs and that is the car debate which they said the primary focus should not be on electric versus internal combustion but rather an overall reduction of cars on the streets. They stressed we are no longer going to let the automobile dictate how our buildings, cities and lives are structured. No more concrete wastelands of parking lots or 20-story buildings with 7 floors of parking as a base. Obama and Damon went back and forth stating we don’t need to pave or widen another new mile of major roadway in this country. They used Kansas City as a prime example where there is plenty of land surrounding existing roads to densify around. Plus, we can barely take care of what we have today so why would we pave more roads to fall into disrepair?
To make this feasible a massive public transportation initiative must be undertaken including buses, subways/streetcars and high-speed rail between major metropolitan cities. Germany has led the way by already passing in January 2020 a $96 billion package to invest in the country’s rail network. Since we just passed a $2.2 trillion relief package for this one-time event it seems like Damon’s suggested $5 trillion federal transportation fund be established for a 100 year plan to be built-out over ten years (another $5 trillion will be raised on a public-private agreement for a total of $10 trillion). Paying for this will require tolls for road use and increases in taxes on properties, gas and income but the savings of not having to own a car or build a parking garage will far outweigh these increases. And it’s not just about getting rid of cars but rather creating a more dynamic, healthy and connected community. This will be a decade long transformation, but the Covid-19 pandemic shocked us onto this path.
They concluded with telling us that Covid-19 will not change the human desire to see and explore the world, nor will the survival instincts to migrate to a better life ever abate. Therefore, it is more important now than ever to create sustainable daily habits and a caring world so we can all enjoy what it has to provide. As the event comes to an end, people have laughed, cried, hugged and high-fived but we all leave soothed and walk out calmly. As I exit through one of the upper tunnels I turn around and look across to the opposite end of Allen Fieldhouse and see hanging there a crisp new banner naming Kansas as the 2020 NCAA Men’s Basketball Champions and I just smile.
INTERNSHIP BEGINS (well kind of...)
Ok, back to reality! I started at KPMG at the beginning of the month but now working from home. Working is probably a bit too much of an overstatement. It is not a great scenario but I suppose everybody’s work situation has likely changed drastically or worse become non-existent. Let’s focus though on the two weeks I was actually going into the office before the work-from-home edict went into effect. On my first day I showed up to the office all spiffed up and ready to dive in and make a big impression. I have had a number of interns myself so I know what my supervisor is experiencing. A pessimist would view interns as burdens and someone you have to keep busy. I always enjoyed them because I could instill some of my practices and ideas and fine tune the basics of the business so that someone who knows nothing about what is going on can easily understand and produce something of value. Similar to when you are facing a client that needs your help but has no idea about the industry and process. Sure, you could look smart and make things complicated sounding but I find that counter- productive and might as well make it as clear and simple as possible.
Per my resident permit I am only allowed to work 19.5 hours per week but during official school breaks, which was in February and March, I can work 40 hours. I am in the real estate department focusing on research and have been tasked to wrap my head around the EU Green Deal and the German national climate plan and how it affects real estate. It’s easy to find out what these programs’ overarching goals—to reduce emissions by 2030 and to net-zero by 2050—but it is another thing to find anything that is relevant for a real estate owner and their actual property. What is probably the most repeated piece of advice is for owners to start measuring and tracking their building’s performance on all fronts (water, energy, recycle- ing etc). If an asset has these measurements in place it will be easier to respond to the forthcoming regulations and all this “green” money looking for real estate projects.
The most interesting aspect of the internship thus far, although short lived, was experiencing a true German office environment. While at WeWork I was basically working within an Americanized office and it was not matching up to what had been described in the culture- shock advice books I read in preparation for my move to Germany. Well KPMG is the real deal. First, I have never been in an office with 2,000 people (although a fraction is actually in each day) where not everyone knows each other and their functions. I have asked if there are any other Americans and so far none have surfaced. This is also my first constant and daily challenge with the language. I have said this before and I will say it again, this is the biggest struggle I will face here. Every other challenge is tied to this from relationships, dining, daily to-do’s and working.
I also learned if I want to develop any sort of relationships in the office, I am going to have to be that American and say a big hello and introduce myself. What is interesting is the second you make that first move the warmth and desire to talk comes rushing out. The workplace coffee culture is also different. Americans fill up their mugs with drip coffee throughout the day and have brief and lively conversations. Here you either go get your coffee with a small smile and nod and return to your desk or you organize a more settled coffee break. As a group you go down to the coffee station and sip and chat for an extended time. It is really used as a time to connect with others because when you are at your desk or moving about the office it is all work and not much socializing and chatter. I think the root of this is a sense of duty and when you are on the clock, you are supposed to be working. I can appreciate both the American and German work environments which have their own pluses and minuses.
Now I am at home each day and writing the majority of this while sitting on my barstool which does not provide a very ideal setup. I am also resisting too much self-loathing and being overly anxious on how this disruption may impact my future job prospects. Not exactly getting that chance to make a big first impression but this all will end in due time and need to remember I have my health, financial security (at least for a while!) and love of family and friends.
SUN AND SKIN
I started this edition on a past Friday afternoon while sitting in the sun at Englischer Garten and I am really glad I plopped down on the east side of the Schwabinger Bach, which is the little stream that carves through the park. I say this because hanging out on the other side was a small grouping of nudists! These guys (and only men today....) don’t just strip and keep a low profile, they walk around, gaze up into the sky and do stretches! This does remind of one of my earlier run-ins with German nudity when I was swimming laps at the year-round outdoor pool. While twisting to the side for a breath a lady passed by and there they were! I think I picked up my pace a little bit after that. This is definitely one peculiarity of the German people that I promise I will not be picking up.
Speaking of the sun, catching rays seems like a national past time here in Germany and likely throughout much of Europe During the winter months, if the sun peaks out people will head outdoors and find a park bench to soak up some rays. I wouldn’t call myself a sun god but I am a firm believer that sunlight improves your wellbeing. So I definitely have gotten in the habit of cutting lunch short or taking a little break by finding a park bench to get some vitamin D. I have wondered if I would sit on a bench in the middle of The Country Club Plaza for 30 minutes in the sun or would my inferiority complex get in the way because I would be afraid of people I know seeing me take a moment out of the day to relax. My guess is in the past I would not have done this but maybe now I have shed some of that silliness and would find myself a sunny spot.
On a recent Sunday I was in the park and saw these two old lovebirds and it made me smile. They even switched roles a little bit later and I thought, “boy they have it figured out.” If I was a betting man, which I am not, my guess is that this is not their first marriage for at least one of them so there is still hope for me!
MISCELEANEOUS (For the first time I actually spelled that correctly without using auto-correct, he can be taught!)
I did not have any classes this past month but had to write a paper on the topic from the previous module. As I have previously claimed on these pages, I do not procrastinate anymore on assignments so that little note held me accountable to stay on it and I easily glided into finishing it well before the due date. There are no classes scheduled for April but it has been announced that May’s module will be online. I have read that online MBAs are becoming more prevalent but I have always considered it a poor way to educate. I guess I will be getting first-hand experience this coming semester and either confirm or refute my current biases.
I did have a flight home to KC for Easter but cancelled it a couple weeks ago. Earlier this month I kept thinking about wanting to be home with family and being at Visitation for the Triduum. I figured, I have budgeted a couple fights home per year, I have the time and this isn’t supposed to be some personal contest on how long I can be away from Kansas City so I just booked it. Unfortunately, a trip home will have to wait but the cancellation is really a credit (the aforementioned ticket used to get to Lawrence in September 2020) so I am locked and loaded once travel restrictions ease up.
I am going to skip a full Book Review this month. I admittedly have not been reading my books quite as much and I am running out of gas on this edition. My trip to Rome and Pompeii did get me interested enough to pick up Augustus: The Life of Rome’s First Emperor by Anthony Everitt. Augustus lived between 63 B.C. and A.D. 14 and I am enjoying this early pursuit of connecting the dots from these ancient times through Jesus and then to the Holy Roman Empire which was centered here in Germany from the Early Middle Ages to its dissolution in 1806. I also needed some bubble gum for the brain reading and picked up at a newsstand from the limited English selection Steve Berry’s mystery The Bishop’s Pawn. It is about a conspiracy theory behind MLK’s assassination. It’s ok and an easy read so worth finishing to see what kind of story Berry can cook up on this event.
MY GRANDMA POLLY
A couple Sunday’s ago I popped open the NYTimes’ Sunday Review section online and was expecting endless ranting on today’s issues. But Bret Stephens’ title caught my eye immediately and found a pleasant article about his grandmother and didn’t even whisper anything about today’s current actors or events. His grandmother was a painter and a somewhat eccentric woman in the first half of the 20th century. It made me think about my paternal grandmother Polly Houts and thought she would be a nice subject to write about as well. Now my grandmother was not an eccentric woman, she was your typical post-war dutiful wife but what made her special was her musical skills at the piano. I attribute many of my, let’s call it, refined tendencies and love for classical music to her. (To my Vyhanek clan, I am not calling our side of the family un-refined but I think we can all admit the Houts four-person household was just a little bit different than the eleven-person gymnasium on W. 73rd Terrace!)
Pauline Belle Kempe was born in 1918 in Bismark, MO but grew up on Lydia Street in Kansas City, MO and attended Paseo High School. Afterwards she graduated from the Kansas City Conservatory of Music and trained under the great pianist John Thompson and Wiktor Labunski. She was always referred to as a concert pianist with perfect pitch. My memory of her was of elegance with a soft and caring demeanor. Her marriage to my grandfather was apparently unappreciated by her parents because he was a farm boy from Warrensburg, MO. Ed Houts, a vice president and salesman for Davis Paint and she a classically trained pianist with a college education made quite the pair. I understand during WWII she had emotional struggles which one could completely understand after being alone during the birth of their first of two sons while your husband is off in the Pacific not knowing if he will ever come home. I imagine in those times she would head to her piano and escape from the worries like we may do today with our favorite Netflix show or long walks and runs through the neighborhood.
I remember visiting their home in Waldo as a child practicing piano with my sister and getting little shiny stars on our workbooks. If there is any regret in life, it is not pursing the piano further than those first couple workbooks and taking advantage of having a grandmother with such a talent. Although I can hold a note with my voice, it was probably a lost cause as no natural talent ever surfaced with an instrument (I gave the guitar a good effort in middle and high school but never could break through). Just listening to her play was enough joy for me. My favorite of her repertoire was Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C sharp minor, Op. 3 No. 2. I found it easily on Spotify and with my noise cancelling headphones on, I hit play and closed my eyes. It transported me back to my childhood when I would lie on the floor under her Steinway baby grand and listen to her play.
Later in my teenage years and she as a widow, I would venture over to her house on Belleview and mow the yard. Afterwards lunch would always be served and every item would have its own little plate. Having that regular and exclusive time with her for many years indelibly left her mark on me. She fell victim to Alzheimer’s and spent her final years in a nursing home. The majority of the time she was at Brighton Gardens in Prairie Village but finally had to be moved to Garden Terrace in Overland Park because all of her resources had been depleted and needed to be at a Medicaid facility. She passed away on Valentine’s Day 2006 but what was most heartwarming was that her Steinway followed her and even as she forgot our names and thought I was in the Navy she could still sit at the piano and play.
THE FUNNIES
When I was thinking about writing a brief update this edition I wanted to add some funnies to bulk it up and bring a little levity into today’s anxious world. Well so much for keeping it short! Who knows if you will get the same pleasure out of them but I smiled and giggled while putting this together.
Seinfeld – The Package
Setup: To help Jerry out, Kramer sends his broken stereo through the mail.Jerry: So we’re going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo? Kramer: It's just a write off for them. Jerry: How is it a write off? Kramer: They just write it off. Jerry: Write it off what? Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything. Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is. Kramer: Do you? Jerry: No. I don't. Kramer: But they do and they are the ones writing it off.
Rookie of the Year
Sal Martinella: Gardenhoser!!
Family Guy – Blue Harvest
Peter: I'm taking this couch. All right, you ready? All right, one... two... three. Easy, easy, easy. Chris: Okay. Peter: Stop, stop, stop, stop... Chris: What? What? Peter: No, no, no, no... Twist it. Chris: I am. Peter: No, no, no, no, no, other way. You're twisting the wrong way. Chris: What do you want me to do? Peter: Just look down, all right. Just look at me, look what I'm doing. You see the way I'm twisting it? Chris: Yeah. Peter: Turn it that way from your end. Chris: Okay. Peter: No, no, no, no, no. Put it down. Put it down. Just drop it. Chris: All right. All right. Peter: All right, let's...Just hang on and figure this out.
Berlitz commercial:
German Coast Guard: Hallo...zis is zuh German Coast Guard American sailor: We’re Sinking! We’re sinking! German Coast Guard: What...are...you...thinking about?
Money Talks
Setup: Hatchett (Chris Tucker) is loading up on a prison bus and deadpans to the guard:
Hatchett: Hey man, let me borrow your gun?
Major League
Harry Doyle: Juuuuust a bit outside.
Animal House
Bluto: Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?! Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boone: Forget it. He’s Rolling.
Seinfeld – The Engagement
George: Did you ever get the feeling like you've had a haircut but you didn't have one? I'm all itchy back here. Jerry: Ugghh... George: What? Jerry: What is this? What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing? George: What? Jerry: Our Lives! What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men. George: No, we're not. We're not men. Jerry: We come up with all these stupid reasons to break up with these women. George: I know. I know. That's what I do. That's what I do. Jerry: Are we going to be sitting here when we're sixty like two idiots? George: We should be having dinner with our sons when we're sixty. Jerry: We're pathetic... you know that? George: Yeah, Like I don't know that I'm pathetic. Jerry: Why can't I be normal? George: Yes. Me, too. I wanna be normal. Normal! Jerry: It would be nice to care about someone. George: Yes. Yes. Care.
Dumb & Dumber:
Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance?!